she is strong
she weak
she is happy
she is sad.
she's told me before that she sometimes wants to die
and i want nothing more than to hold her and keep her safe.
i havent known her very long but i know i have feelings for her.
wether she knows how much i don't know.
will she see this?
maybe.
she is awesome in all aspects.
she's not a model
she's not a super athlete
she's not a genius
but she is beautiful
she could beat me up if she really wanted
and she's smart
and she has caught my eye the moment she spoke.
i know it can never be from this distance,
but it doesnt mean i can't dream and hope
that maybe someday i can hold her.
i say dirty things, only to hide how much i feel for her
when she hangs up the phone i miss her already.
i know of her problems
past and present
i want to know more
her hopes
and dreams
but i know we can never be,
and as i sit here typing this i am afraid
i am afraid
afraid that if she reads this
that if she reads this she wont like me anymore
or think i'm weird
or stupid
or weak
or any of those bad qualities i truly am.
if i can't have her then let us be as best of friends as possible so i know in my heart that we are there for each other.
as these tears flow down my right cheek i am confused at whether or not i am happy or just petrified.
thoughts run through my head of her, not mad at me for this, but of pity, and feeling sorry.
dont feel sorry for me, and dont feel bad.
just accept this as is and move on.
i'll be right here.